As quickly as the Wind Blows

Life has been undergoing a particularly rapid period of flux for the past days. I've recently become a sandwich artist at a local deli / butcher / restaurant / bar. Choice City Butcher is a top notch establishment connected in all the right local circles for quality community action. And it pays. And I'm not knocking on random people's doors during dinner. Score!

Depending, I also might be a construction materials tester (career type job), a security guard, a dishwasher, a server and I just got my first acceptance letter into grad school, so maybe a scientist. Universe just put me where you want me. Lord knows the 30 or so applications I put in around town have given you enough options.

In the meantime I am counting on you video games. Keep me entertained during this winter bound lethargy and hibernation for I am unmotivated to brave the weather or do anything useful with my day. I can see the sun shining through my window thank you very much, and that is more than enough for me.

Sufficient opportunities are working through the matrix of possibility that I am content to spend the rest of today clicking away. Kill the monsters. Slay the dragons. Level so many levels!

Well over 120 hours on my PSP since Christmas - Thanks Mom :)

:)

Hills and Valleys

After day two, I had to quit my first job in Colorado. That's the quickest I've ever quit a job before. It wasn't that I couldn't perform the duties of the trade, but that it made me feel weird to do so. Knocking on  strangers doors at night. Asking them for money. The issue wasn't one I even had an opinion on, other than that given me. Fundraising was unexpectedly dreadful.  It still makes me wriggle inside just thinking about it. Strange that, I never would have thought.

As a youth I was once driven by an ambition for grassroots organizing, of having a true voice in democracy. I would have relished and indeed sought out voraciously the chance to get out and do it. My first day I raised over $90 in an hour. I felt okay. 

During the morning of the second I practiced while my stomach incessantly turned flips. I was nervous, and what an odd sensation that was. I considered myself accomplished in the ways outreach and activism, yet the thought of a second night on the battlegrounds for changing state law was abhorent. It was cold, filled with rejection and doubt, not to mention maybe even a bad idea in the first place. There had to be a better way. Nevermind the trade had supported numerous a worthy cause in the past, for me, it was like worms.

My trainer Darcy and I switched off for the first two hours of night two. I raised a few dollars. People wrote a few letters. The two hours alone, from 7 to 9 pm,  netted a swath of doubt and curiosity. I felt like I was watching my body walk the neighborhood, repeat the pitch and walk away with little, instead of actually doing it. Needless to say, it didn't work well.

The 3rd morning brought no end to the wriggling - a sensation I don't relish to encourage. Henceforth I am hereby removed from CforSe, from canvasing and the frigid air of rejection. No passion within means the flame burns thin, when genuine requests wither and no support is given. 

On the other hand, a training manuel for the skills of canvassing is a bright note. Two nights time and a clear path to avoid isn't too high a price. Perhaps some future goal will ask for the words and regiments contained therein. It appears clear to me grassroots activism says steer and veer from fundraising. Door to door. On the street.

Alas as quickly as it came, my new-found job disappears. 

Life is looking up

Housing upgrade
and income to boot!

All in due time is a piece of wisdom that has played itself out over and over in my life. Ask and ye shall receive is another one, if you are asking for the right things anyway. I have asked for a million dollars quite regularly, but it is yet to fall into my lap. Alas, knowing the right question seems as important as letting the universe bring unto you that which you need.

All that is a round a bout way to say, I got a job! I began looking at the beginning of the month, and after a few applications, a CSU career fair, and a Craigslist post for German Tutoring, I am now a canvasser for Communities for Sustainable Energy.  (CforSE)

I go door to door asking people to support us and give us money. We're trying to help fracking in the oil and gas industry be safer and less harmful to public health. Today will be my second day, and to my own great surprise, I'm nervous about it.

I can't remember the last time I was nervous about something, but knocking on peoples doors is more nerve wracking than I expected it to be, not to mention I'm still working on knowing what to say when. In any case, I did pretty good on my first day, raising $90 in an hour, but I'm attributing most of that to luck. We shall see what the day and week brings. I'm on probation for the first week, continued employment hinging on performance. Give us money!

The second great improvement to current standards is a housing upgrade of the nth degree. We moved into the other side of our country duplex, which includes nice shag carpet, real wood walls, a fireplace, a much bigger room and kitchen, upstairs and general awesomeness. Our previous living room was a concrete floor... not the most inviting.  So now, if you want to come visit, you will actually be comfortable! YAY.

For now the slow drain on savings halts, our home is inviting and comfortable, and it's damn cold outside. Go life :).